Taking Time to Recharge

Do you feel okay from taking some time out from your lists, chores and commitments to recharge?

 

I find this very hard to to. I feel guilty, especially since if I recharge during the week it is whilst my husband is working hard, and shouldn't I be working hard too (unpaid work). And if it is during the weekend I feel like I am stealing time from my children and being a 'bad mother'.  Guilt is a tough feeling to manage... here are some thoughts I find helpful when I am resisting the growing urge for some "me time".

1.  Fit your own oxygen mask first.

I've heard this analogy a lot.  On the plane, during the emergency demonstration, they advise adults to fit their own oxygen masks before assisting their children.  You can imagine why - afterall you cannot help anyone if you are blacked out!  So it is in life that we need to make sure we keep our own energy and enthusiasm tanks full so we can really be there for our kids, instead of being an automation, and perhaps a resentful one at that.

For more on this concept I recommend the book
Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting (Paperback) By Laura Markham

2.  Think about your working conditions.
If you are a stay at home parent, your working conditions probably read something like this:  no annual leave, no weekends, on-call 24/7, no sick leave, no pay.  I try not to dwell on this, except when I am resisting my own urge for some 'me time'.  I am usually resisting because I feel guilty taking a break.  This ranges anywhere from a quiet cup of tea (aren't there always jobs to be done instead) to something more wild like a movie night with the girls.  So at those times I find it helpful to realise that my time off is not built into my employment contract and I need to find and take the little opportunities as they arise, so that I can refresh and renew and truly be there for my family.

3.  Take mini-breaks
Listen to some music, watch birds in the garden, go for a walk (something you can do with a baby in a buggy!), enjoy a hot cup of tea, call a friend, read or watch something funny, browse the library...... there are many ways to take a little break.  Although what you might really be hanging out for is a long weekend somewhere tropical without the kids (or partner), these little breaks can be enough to help restore some sanity and humour to our lives.

4.  Think kind thoughts.  When you are feeling like you need a break, be kind to yourself about it.  You are doing a tough job and need to treat yourself with the love and kindness with which you want to treat your kids.  Choose love, including for yourself.  If your kids see you taking a moment they are learning a valuable lesson in self management.

Go well, and go easy on yourself.  Be organised, wonderful and sane!